DEWM Dies (Chapter 6)

The plane arrived in Afghanistan, and Dewm walked into the airport, with Seras behind him.
“So, do you even remember where he is?” Seras asked.
“Yes, if I remember, he said he would be hiding...” Dewm pulled out a map and pointed to a red circle. “Here! Let’s get a taxi.” Dewm ran to the exit of the airport, only to find that there wasn’t any taxis, or even much of a road for that matter.
“This plan went better in your head didn’t it?” Seras said.
“It most definitely did, I still have an idea...”


3 days later…
Dewm and Seras were riding camels in the desert. Dewm looked around, spotting a small cave entrance. “That has to be it! C’mon!” Dewm said as he jumped off the camel he was riding, and ran over to it, he activated a pair of night vision goggles as he looked around. “Aha! This is it, we found it.”
“Uh, good?” Seras said after disembarking from her camel.
“It’s excellent, because-” Suddenly, Dewm was interrupted by a pair of terrorists who jumped out and aimed assault rifles at him. “Oh. Well hello there!” Dewm said.
The terrorists fired their assault rifles, only to have them suddenly explode with confetti, and a third jumped out and blew into a blowout through his bandanna. “Ah, it’s the anniversary, I forgot! Where’s Bin Laden, I haven’t seen him in 5 years, after all.”
Osama Bin Laden walked into view, and shook Dewm’s hand. “Hello, friend, it’s been a while!”
“It has!”
Seras interrupted. “I thought you were joking, you really are friends with the most well-known terrorist group leader?”
“That I am, me and him go way back, we met each other when I was bragging about the size of my bush when he overhead and bet me that his was bigger. Now, onto the task at hand, some of your guys have kidnapped the girl that’s totally in love with me, and I would like to kindly request that you let her go.” Dewm said.
“I don’t believe we’ve kidnapped anyone, especially not a girl.” One of the terrorists said.
“I have a VHS tape right here, you guys have a TV right?” Dewm said.
The Terrorists began looking around at each other, confused. “Uh… I don’t think so...” Bin Laden said.
“Fuck, alright hold on...” Dewm reached into his pocket and pulled out a TV, along with a VHS player, then set it all up. The video started playing.
“Both of those guys are white, and their outfits don’t even remotely match ours.” A terrorist said.
“What?! You’re telling me you don’t have any angsty white american kids in your group? Fuck, I guess the 2000s really changed that… Well then, it appears that this is the work of Saddam Hussein!” Dewm said.
“Saddam's followers don’t wear anything remotely like that.” Bin Laden said.
“Hey, dude, listen, I’ll make it worth your while if you stop acting like you know everything, go for the south tower first, then the north, remember that.”
Seras grabbed Dewm’s shoulders. “OK, that’s enough, you’re aiding a terrorist attack against your own country, that’s kind of fucked.”
Osama looked at Seras angrily. “Who are you, anyway?!”
Dewm put his hands up. “Let’s all settle down here!”


Dewm walked back into the American airport, covered in bloodstains.
“I can’t believe he would do that! I never knew how psychotic Osama Bin Laden was.” Dewm said to Seras. “But at least we have one of these confetti guns!” Dewm said as he pulled out the fake assault rifle.
Good times pointed at Dewm. “KILL YOURSELF!” He yelled, getting the attention of the other three. They all yelled as they charged at him.
“Holy shit, Osama had reinforcements!” Dewm yelled as he aimed the rifle, and fired it, confetti exploded out of the gun in full-auto.
Senpai laughed. “Wow, OK, that’s pretty funny, y’know what, go ahead and go, we won’t even fight you.”
“What?” Forthright said. “You don’t get to make that choice, you were the only one that laughed at it!”
“Since when were you the leader of this group?!” Senpai said.
“I thought I was the leader!” Marc yelled.
“Wasn’t it like a democracy?” Senpai asked.
“Kill yourself!”
The four began arguing further, Dewm and Seras simply walked away.


“Now that’s what I call an adventure, wouldn’t you agree, Seras?” Dewm said as he walked back into Shadow’s house, Seras didn’t respond.
Shadow crossed her arms. “Where the hell were you?! You do realize you haven’t replaced my tires yet, right?”
“Shadow! Don’t worry, I’ll save you!” Dewm said as he ran up to Shadow and picked her up and held her over his shoulder. “Seras, we must move before the terrorists catch us!” Dewm yelled as he ran out the front door, before he ran directly back in and put Shadow back down. “You’ve been rescued, and I’ll tell you what, it wasn’t easy, perhaps you would like to reward the noble hero by going down on me?” Dewm said. Shadow punched him in the face, knocking him down. “I’ve been hit by zombiemen who hit harder than that!” Dewm yelled.

My god, the amount of what the fuck and funny put into this... My favorite part so far to be honest.

Z!FF wrote:My god, the amount of what the fuck and funny put into this... My favorite part so far to be honest.

I have a fucked up mind. I never really expressed it until DEWM Dies.

Hey, itx all good. I used to let out my rage in my french writings. Now i try to keep it more professional i suppose.

Glad to see Seras having very little regards to organics. That really put a smile on my face.